I learned today that the French government has shut down soup kitchens in the country, apparently, for offending Islam. Some of the free food given out to people in need contains pork, a traditional French, indeed, European ingredient. It's also delicious. Did I mention it's free? The problem people have is that it would make Muslim hobos search for a different free meal, somewhere else, which amounts to discrimination. Since France can't be seen in any way to so much as inconvenience for a moment either a hobo or a Muslim, and certainly not someone who is both, I suppose this action is to be expected. Sure, the French piggies claim it's all on "'administrative grounds,' claiming the soup kitchens do not have the correct papers." I'm just having trouble believing that the only places without the proper papers needed to give away food to hungry poor people were the ones serving ham sandwiches.

A clincher seems to be that these soup kitchens are run by "right-wing" groups who are purposely warding off Muslims with their pork soup. But could it be more likely that as nationalists, they're simply insisting upon serving traditional French food? Maybe not, but it's worth consideration before jumping to conclusions that serve the interests of religious morons.

I think the guy on the left is probably more angry that the East Peshawar L'oréal ran out of his color of rouge, and also that he was born without an upper lip. And way in the back -- wait is this Pakistan or Planet of the Apes? I don't see, in light of this behavior, why it can't be both.

I had a bad cannoli the other night. Well, really, I just ate one too many and it was like 10pm, and my stomach hurt in the morning. But I think I'm gonna bomb the Italian embassy, and maybe take a Swiss guy hostage, since, you know, there are some Italian speakers in Switzerland...that will teach Veniero's to sell me a rich, delicious cannoli so late at night, and locate themselves one block from my apartment. 112 years ago. Anyway.

This cartoon thing is rather hilarious. Not that I mind when government buildings are burned down, but have a good reason, assholes. That some Danish paper printed a goofy cartoon of Muhammad is not one of those. And that a Norwegian paper REprinted it is certainly not. There's practically a fatwa out against anyone who so much as laid eyes on the thing. This is why everyone in the world is afraid of you, you morons. Your religion is stupid. You kill and maim and bomb and torch because your feelings got hurt by something 5000 miles away in some newspaper with 30K circulation written in a language you don't understand. I mean, you people even attacked New York for the crimes of a bunch of people in Washington. Even bombing a small, sparse town in West Virginia would have killed more American imperialists than were killed on 9/11. You did it because you are idiots.

Just like when the US attacks in Afghanistan and Iraq and other countries, it creates more of what it is fighting, you, by threatening to kidnap Danes (but being satisfied with a German) and attacking embassies, create more cartoons!

From the American front:

"I've been getting a lot of e-mails about it, and I'm distributing them all," said Omary, a Damascus native who sells real estate in Northern Virginia. "There is a limit to freedom. There are 1.2 billion Muslims in the world. Let's have some respect."

Dear Mr. Omary: Fuck off and die. Muhammad sucks the shit out of pigs' asses.

A few miles away at the All Dulles Area Muslim Society mosque in Sterling, Zaki Al Barzinji, 16, was equally upset.

"Just because you can say something doesn't mean you should say something," the teenager said. "If somebody showed a picture of the pope with a bomb on his head, that would cause a great public outcry. Nobody would be talking about freedom of speech."

When Sinead O'Connor ripped up a picture of the pope, do you recall Irish embassies being torched in Spain? Brits being kidnapped in Italy? No, I didn't think so, because it didn't happen. People sneered, called her a bitch, and got on with their lives. It's what people do when they are offended in civilization.

"Technically, you have the right to walk into a crowded theater and yell 'Fire,' " said Uzma Unus, 34, a teacher in Sterling who is also vice president of ADAMS. "But is that responsible?"

That you can even compare yelling "fire" in a crowded theater, which upon hearing is a very legit reason to jump up and run for the nearest exit, to printing a cartoon of Muhammad in a newspaper is completely asinine. But it is illustrative of the fact that Muslims feel that the image of the prophet, and their feelings about him, are more valuable than lives and property. And therefore, that Muslims are stupid.

Several [American Muslims] were critical of the violent reactions of some Muslims in Europe and the Middle East. The better way to respond, they added, is through dialogue and peaceful protests, such as the recently launched boycott of Danish dairy products.

Dear Stupid Muslim Fellow Countrymen: Are you actually protesting the fact that the State of Denmark merely did not use force to prohibit the publication of a cartoon that offends morons like you? Are you actually punishing Danish farmers, who, I assure you, had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the publication of the cartoon, for the publication of said cartoon? How do you wipe your ass or tie your shoes by yourself? It's a wonder you even know how to use language properly.

In conclusion, Muslims are stupid. I will of course continue to defend them verbally against being bombed and shot and stolen from by the agents of my government, but let's face it -- that's only because they're too stupid to defend themselves. And who will drive cabs and sell me slurpees?

Oh yeah! Hindus!

Update: Iranian paper to launch holocaust cartoon competition. My dad is gonna be in heaven when those hit the internet. I suppose if there's a proper way to retaliate, this is it, though Jews have been putting up with this in the Arab world for...pretty much the entire last century.

Also, it's not like Muhammad has never been drawn before. I'm pretty sure most of these drawings went down fine without anything being burned down.